CHRISTMAS | CHRIST-Birthday. 

It's Christmas, and there are so many things I wanna tell the One who regarded me as His friend, His sister, who build the way 2000 years ago, so that I can reconcile with our Father. 

Thank you Jesus. 

It's been two years in The Lord's embrace, two years of re-discovering a whole new perspective of the World, two years of awe in the amazing amazing love You poured into me. Thanksgiving pours out when I look back again and again how God finally gives me the courage I needed to walk down the altar call, how God guarded my heart of discomfort when my brother threw me alone in Hope TP, how the LG build me up in my spiritual foundation, and showered me the kind of love that allows me to discover God's love in my life, and the kind of hope that keeps my strength intact for the coming days ahead.

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Last Saturday's Christmas service shook my heart again, reminding me to go back to God for the joy that I have been desiring in all my life. The kind of happiness I once held when I was a baby Christian, the kind of faith that once guarded my spirit of joy even in times of harshness. 

Am I truly happy? 

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God" 

Hebrews 12:2

And a random thought came to me: without this joy that Christ hold, will He give up on the cross that could give us salvation? 

But the truth is Jesus DID had joy, before he went on the cross. And it was the joy that He held and endured the hardship, it was the joy that build the way for us to reconcile with God. It was the joy that God places in each and everyone of us, the joy we have when we reconcile with God. 

And this joy carries God's grace. 

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God woke me up in the middle of the night one day with a realm of comfort and assurance in the midst of the exhaustion that I was facing. I began to discover how lack I've been in in seeking Him as the days go by, as my brain starts to accumulate with the concerns that I haven't had a conclusion with. I was reminded that if I could just focus onto The Lord each time I carry a doubt and believing again and again of my identity in Him, then this God-given joy will be able to strengthen my heart. 

This God-given joy that carries Grace. 

Happy Birthday Jesus :D Thank you for being my friend, You showed me you care, just being there. Thank You for holding my hand, you showed me the stars, beyond the skies. You inspired me with what you do, and told me I could too. You lift me up and let me shine, I wanna thank You for the rest of my life. 

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls" 

1 Peter 1:8-9