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Regina K
21; Holding a Diploma in HTM I love coffee-art and colours Have an interest in photography, but don't exactly have the talent :P ******* I pen down things worthy to remember. Even with the toughest struggles in life. Because when I read back in future, I will remember and know that God has brought me through I have decided to follow Jesus! No turning back Credits
Layout made by tkh. |
Finally I've got the time to do some shopping after Hanoi trip briefing in school and a lil pampering for myself! Got my pair of wedges and new sandals. ^_^ Hehe. So last thursday morning during LG when we were sharing our testimonies on how God impacted our life during the holidays, and I was the only one who refused to share any of my testimonies. How selfish I am I told myself after that.. but it seemed like God was giving everybody a good holiday but yet for me, God has been throwing in many self-discoveries and reflection of my own life, mostly giving me negative discoveries of myself. God has been really silent in my life this holiday while I was filled with questions and doubts about my own life :'( But after reading the book of "purpose driven life", I realised that my life has always been driven by fear and the need of approval. And through handover camp God allowed me to realise how these negative driving forces of my life have affected my emotions, my meaning of life and also affected how other people think of me. One key to failure is to try to please everyone in my life. My high EQ is my weakness because I always think that people are saddened by my words or are pissed at my actions or whatsoever it is and because I cared so much about how other people feel, this is where I try to please everybody in my life. God really blessed me with friends and family who genuinely showed care and concern for me but because I was trying too hard to please everyone, I in turn make my relationship with them decay. After knowing this fact, I really hate myself for whom I am and this feeling is really sore. I pondered so much at home that I do not know how to go about changing myself. I need to seriously change. But through the book God told me how. (I think) Yes from now on, I want to be someone whom do not care about what others think of me, as long as I know I am doing the things through the Will of God, have Faith in God and does actions that would glorify God such as being honest, humble, compassionate, empathy,love, loyal and trust. Because I know God made plans for me and none are plans to destroy or to hurt me, so why should I be fearful of others and why should I let their emotions take control of me? Yep shall this be my new purpose of life? To throw away my old driving forces of life and to live with the new purpose. God gave me a reason to live. And the reason does not evolve pleasing everybody in this world. |
