Today I rode on a one hour bus ride, thinking of things that happened to me throughout my 2 years in poly, compared to whom I am in the past. Sometimes I ask myself, what exactly was the reason why I refuse to reach out to people, even though they are willing to lend out their helping hand, or their listening ear? Why do I rather swallow it down and forget everything the next day instead of sharing my thoughts and rants to others like how I am willing to do for my friends? Why I don't give myself a chance to believe in the positive, and why am I only looking at the negative sides of the "what ifs" scenarios that would eventually happen to me.